2024-10-16 - Like Icarus who flew too close to the sun - Cutting Tofu
From the corner of my eye I saw lightning strike. The first time I felt the ground shake underneath me, tectonic plates shifted back and forth. Will the earth open up and swallow me whole?
Close your eyes and jump. Close your eyes and jump.
I had to climb higher to fall harder. I’m at the edge, tipping the scale, gracefully teetering like a see-saw. I lost something strange and beautiful. Everything amounts to the reasons why.
Close your eyes and jump. Close your eyes and jump.
Let me become stardust. Perhaps the only thing I leave behind will be a feeling. Memories are overrated. Only fools fight against all odds to live.
Close your eyes and jump. Close your eyes and jump.
It's so fucking funny, I just can't. Awkwardly swaying for 40 minutes, enthusiastically dancing to YMCA, one of the gayest songs of all time. God, irony is so lost on republicans. lol
Metaphor ReFantazio is the best JRPG ever and you should play it. I will definitely be writing a post about it once I finish. Atlus cooked with this one, it's so so good. I put like...30 hours into it over 3 days.
I also watched The Substance last night and that was incredible. Top tier body horror and an incredible story to boot. Horror fans are eating good these past couple years.
I hadn't tried this until today, but it turns out to work: I can create equations forwards and back in notebook.love, and trigger either selectively based on what blanks I fill in.
The fine print: to switch directions I have to fill in the right blank, clear the old blank, and then type in something outside the old blank (to indicate I'm not going to type further into the old blank).
Works better if I clear the old query first, but who can remember that?
I've decided to just recompute on every keypress and mouse click. It seemed unnecessary, but now I see that there's some benefit from the inefficiency.
I think we are going to discover long term cognitive impacts from repeat Covid infections. This country did not have the IQ points to spare. It would be so fuckin' easy to be a right wing grifter. I'm not a piece of shit so I'm not trying to exploit people for profit, but god would it be SO easy.
This is what I should have done last year when between the research for Strange Loop, daily maintenance of active projects, and
implementation of new ones, code was what I only ever read or wrote about for
weeks on end. By the time winter came, I was fed up with all of it. If
everything works according to plan, I'm well on my way to not writing a single
line of code this month.
I'm instead using the game engine idea of a pivot. Any time I toggle into doodle mode I have to first pick a pivot from one of the characters on screen. All my drawings are relative to that pivot, and edits to text maintain pivots alongside.
Displacements to the pivot are preserved in font-derived units, so it looks "reasonable" as you resize the font.
Deleting a character deletes all drawings pivoted on it. (But there's undo.)
This took 200 lines, so not too much though it was more than I'd initially expected.
So, Elon musk is definitely gonna use Twitter to fuck with the election somehow. This is just 1 of many reasons why billionaires should not exist. Musk is fully embracing the villain arc and when the billionaire who owns an information platform is teaming with the wannabe fascist dictator...y'all should be more concerned about this it is not a joke
Watched the USC v Ole Miss game yesterday with the fam. I don't really care about the game, I'm just there to eat, drink, and be merry. To that end, we made smoked steak with a creamy mushroom topping, smoked mashed potatoes, corn, a veggie tray, pumpkin bread, and a cookie dessert. It's always fun, everyone always brings stuff to the gatherings. It's nice to do these regularly (even if USC lost lol).
Been playing lots of Space Marine 2 lately, super fun. 2024 was a great year for PVE games with EDF6, Helldivers 2, Space Marine 2.
Blanks can be filled in either with the results of computation or with what a
person typed in. Now we indicate such conflicts in two ways.
Blanks filled in from computations get a distinct look (the cyan background), separate from both hand-written (black on white) and computed, non-editable text (cyan on white)
If I manually edit a blank, its background changes, and any code that was overridden doesn't execute. Here are a couple of examples:
September stretched out like a lazy cat in a sunbeam, feeling like it lasted forever. In these long days, a crazy dance unfolded between the puppy and the child. It was a challenging yet fun game, like juggling flaming marshmallows without a mess.
Creatively, I retreated into my fortress of solitude. My side projects took a backseat. My energy levels seemed to have taken some time off, leaving me with just enough zest to update img now and then. It's been an introspective phase, where the usual hustle made way for a more laid-back rhythm.
Now, let's discuss the mystery surrounding the Diablo tapes. The production is taking longer than expected, feeling like a Monday morning that won't end. Am I being cleverly deceived? Only time will tell.
With all the spare time of this endless September, I indulged in reading, sleeping, and letting my mind wander. It's been a quiet rebellion against the chaos of the world outside and work.
There was also a lot of work, but I'm trying not to let it affect me too much.
October should bring more peace and tranquility, I hope. As the year comes to a close, I'm looking forward to getting away to London in December. The thought of holiday lights, busy streets, and warm tea is exciting. Here's to a refreshing October and exciting times ahead.
This debug UI has been surprisingly handy over the last few days. I'm able to visualize a parse tree even after it's been flattened, just using color transparency. All I'm doing is painting all the rects that contain the mouse cursor. Since the color is transparent, it doesn't matter what order they're in. (The larger rects actually come later; they're fall-backs if a more fine-grained rect isn't found.)
Hurricane Helene was devastating. I only had to deal with some downed trees and a half a day without power. Others lost everything. Whole towns are gone. This one will be one of those storms that gets remembered. It will be mentioned along with Katrina in terms of the devastation. I really feel for those affected.
And now there's the port strike going on. I already have political anxiety. It's just always something.
I finished my slides but I left in them some gaps to fill with puns, and
other miscellanea. There's this one where a whole culture of people is
programming entirely by multiplying fractions,
y'know what would be ridiculous? If I had actual examples, or even
implementations of classic functions to show the attendees. Not only that, how
better would my point be made if I built enough documentation to teach people
and even wrote games for it.
It has been 4 weeks now, I have vivid dreams in which I reduce the number of
steps it takes my fractions to find the Fibonacci sequence, I have written 3
different implementations and sit on enough material for a
whole extra talk of its own, or at least enough to bore a whole amphitheater to
tears. — Have we lost the plot yet?
I thought about making another State of Fantasy TV article, but what's the point? I'll save some time. Rings of Power Season 2 - trash. House of Dragon Season 2 - also trash. Wheel of Time Season 2 - meh. As a fantasy lover, it's a damn shame seeing these amazing properties get absolutely ruined (or mishandled if I'm being generous) by incompetent fools. Every terrible adaptation, every streaming service price increase or password sharing crackdown, makes me very thankful I have a Plex server up and running. This is freedom.
I've been playing a good bit of LOTRO here lately. So glad I heard about the new legendary servers to simulate the feel of launch. Very refreshing. Got my highest character up to 41 so far and looking forward to seeing what cap is like.
In other news, hurricane Helene is going on. Mostly just rain by me but the winds are supposed to pick up later.
i saw a really vivid sunset yesterday while walking ibarra. a large streak of orange sunlight cutting across a deep ash-blue. the traffic lights sharp in that dark. today is a sunny day and i'm slightly anxious about my follow-up appointments to the doctor and my optometrist. ah, getting olde.
2024-01-02
happy new year! i didn't do any traditional new year's rituals to mark the year like i did for the last three years. i didn't even do the animal crossing countdown. though i woke up early yesterday (because i slept early! start the year right, etc.) and wrote in my notebook. again today. i'm thinking of new wall decor. i'm thinking origami.
2023-12-18
more and more as i get older i realize the importance of holding space for people, giving them a chance to show up. when i was young there i had more urgency to form bonds (i wonder why when i had more time then). i'm leaning into the ebb and flow of connection as the years go by. it happens or it doesn't, there are no guarantees. this is both depressing and uplifting, depending on the day. today it's uplifting: i got a postcard from a friend whom i thought i wouldn't hear from for a long while.
2023-12-02
my friend el talked about updating their website and so i suddenly remembered mine. much has happened since my last entry. end of the year blues in full swing, my mom is in the hospital, my dog is a bit lonely in a dark house and is trying to get into his sack of kibble. what helps me: daily journalling, chats with my siblings, crying, writing letters, routines, home-mixed blackberry soda, we love katamari and animal crossing. i may start ingesting some vitamin d supplements to help a little. looking forward to the solstice.
2023-05-29
yesterday i saw so many corgis.
2023-05-26
mid-spring in full swing! i've been turning down a lot of event invites, but i'm really gratified that folks have been inviting me to things. also, ibarra and i have been taking a walk mid-mornings when the sun is full out and the lighting reminds me so much of childhood. i've also begun drinking afternoon tea, it doesn't interfere with my sleep patterns as much as coffee does.
2023-05-08
been a while since i updated this! i am actually writing from my new laptop. wiped off windows and installed linux mint. stuff i am enjoying lately: scrapbook/junk journalling ASMRs (love the sound of peeling stickers), eating meals outdoors in the yard, looking at the newly-sprung flowers in the neighbourhood. i am thinking of revamping this website but mostly i think i'll be satisfied adjusting the divs.
2022-12-15
it is very blustery outside. the wind hits the walls in a scary way, vibrating as in a flat of the hand against heavy wood. i'm organizing my old art right now, scanning doodles without really looking back or judging. i know enough that time is crucial for pulling meaning from drawings. and anyway, they are a record of a mood. most of the drawings i scanned were from 2017. i went through the wringer that year. my priorities in an image changed somewhat.
2022-10-25
my computer crashed last september and it's only now that i restored it. i can believe that i actually managed to go a month without my desktop, but then i was moving between tablet and my brother's laptop, so it was fine. what happened in october so far? i turned 35. i cleaned out the yard for the winter.
Hello all! In the 1934 film It's A Gift, a brat drops grapes on a man's face, after which he shouts "Shades of Bacchus!" Bacchus is the god of wine in Roman mythology. Dev & I heard this said in the 4th season of What we Do in the Shadows, said by the energy vampire Colin Robinson in a moment that doesn't involve wine or grapes, merely to express surprise, but we loved this saying so much that we have since adopted it. And now, your life too has been enriched by having learned that this expression exists. Now on to the updates of the month!
WEBSITE NEWS. This website now has a light mode! I should have implemented this ages ago, all of my other websites have a light/dark mode, but now it's done! If your browser preferences are set for light mode, you'll see it. The default is still the dark mode, because it's what my eyes prefer. In other website-related news, I wrote a post called keeping teeth healthy. I was hesitant to share it publicly because I was embarrassed to admit of being bad at taking care of my teeth, but I got a lot of support from others who suffered the same problems. Body maintenance is difficult, I ought not to be embarrassed about it, I will likely continue to learn how to do things better till I die.
SAILING. Pino is back on the Victoria docks. I was looking forward to it this year, I was glad to have access to water on tap again. In the summer, water in the Salish Sea is a rare commodity, we have to use it like the precious resource that it is. This translates to not doing laundry, and by not taking quality showers aboard for 5 months. The water in our tanks is for drinking, and for cleaning dishes only(when water is especially low, I usually use a pressure sprayer and do the dishes in the cockpit). After a summer of hard sailing, Pino is a damn mess. I've already cleaned the gunk out of the quarter berth and galley, but each space needs a good exorcism. Being back near a city also means that Dev & I can ship stickers again! I've put items in my store back online(still selling some mushroom drawings). Devine found a spirograph set for 5$ at a thrift store, we now make intricate patterns on all of the letters that we ship!
ART. I bought myself a set of coloring pencils! I got them specifically for the Rabbit Waves project, for illustrations that need a touch of color. I am creating content for it almost everyday! The project is not released yet, but it'll be out before the end of the month. The bird in the drawing below is a long-billed murrelet, a bird that hangs around the east coast of Russia and Northern Japan. I have never seen this particular type of murrelet, but I have seen Kittlitz's murrelets while sailing in Southeast Alaska. They are such beautiful, tiny birds! They are like small compact auks, measuring about 25 cm (9.8 in). Yes, rabbit waves will have rabbits, but also plenty of seabirds.
FONT. I fixed a few issues with the font for hakum. Had bad kerning between n & l (the word only comes up a lot). I also moved the apostrophe, hyphen, and the plus sign higher. The font is still not 100% perfect, I fix it when I find the time. I'd also really like to add glyphs for french(é è ê) at some point. See making a font. I didn't have time to work on hakum at all this month, I am sad about this, but I'm prioritizing rabbit waves at the moment.
BOOKS. I finished reading Andy Weir's Project Hail Mary. I did not expect to like this book so much, the Martian was ok, but this book isn't only about solving problems in a hostile environment(space), it's also about camaraderie. It is difficult to explain why I loved the book without spoiling it, but I will say that the main character's encounter with Rocky really makes this book shine.
MOVIES. I learned that Boots Riley, the director/screenwriter of Sorry to Bother You, a film that I loved, had also recently directed the series I'm a Virgo. I finally got around to watching it, and holy crap...it is very, very good! The characters were well-crafted, the world was fun and created with purpose(to talk about corporatocracy, oppression and exploitation). Then there's Parking Tickets, a fictional animated TV show within the I’m a Virgo universe. Parking Tickets is dark, it grips you and doesn't let go. I enjoyed reading about the show within a show in this article. I watched Yintah, a CBC documentary following indigenous land defenders in a decade-long fight to keep fossil fuel companies from building pipelines on their traditional lands. Watching this I was completely disgusted at the hypocrisy and barrage of lies coming out of the mouths of Canadian Government officials, pipeline workers and the police/RCMP. Their eyes are set on resource extraction and nothing will keep them from achieving their goals, Indigenous people know that better than anyone. Reconciliation is a word that is thrown around to appease voters, it's an illusion, behind the curtain the Canadian Government is still using century-old tactics to remove Indigenous people from their lands.
"I want to buy your horse," an American settler says to an indigenous man. "No, I want to keep my horse," the indigenous man says. Dissatisfied with this response, hellbent on getting the man's horse, the settler goes to another indigenous man, "I want to buy that horse," he says, asking permission from someone who doesn't have the authority to give that horse away.
This short skit illustrates well how land was seized in the past, and what is still done today when governments want something from Indigenous people. A few weeks ago, I finished reading I Will Fight No More Forever by Merrill D. Beal, documenting how the American settlers displaced the Nez Perces from their lands. Back in 1877, Chief Joseph too was suffering the lies of government officials: "It makes my heart sick when I remember all the good words and all the broken promises." Good words do not last long unless they amount to something.
QUOTESI have carried a heavy load on my back ever since I was a boy. I learned then that we were but few while the white men were many, and that we could not hold our own with them. We were like deer. They were like grizzly bears. We had a small country. Their country was large. We were contented to let things remain as the Great Spirit Chief made them. They were not; and would change the mountains and rivers if they did not suit them.A quote by Chief Joseph
MUSIC. I am head over heels for the techno mix BEHEĀDER - LA FORZA. I have a strange relationship with music, songs affect me deeply, beautiful voices and arrangements have the power to bring me to tears. Devine sent me an article called Brain connectivity reflects human aesthetic responses to music, which sets out to explain how certain individuals have strong emotional reactions to music.
CALL TO ACTION. Given and C.C., two bright stars are struggling to stay afloat. Circumstances have compelled them to live nomadically. They lack a legal residence anywhere and have neither pensions nor access to banking, social support or medical services. They make due with meagre finances and fend off the increasing pressures of age (C.C. turns 70 this year) and chronic illness. I have donated to their cause many times, but support from many more people would help them ensure that they can continue to get prescription medicines, medical care, as well as the basic requirements of keeping an old boat — their home — afloat for a longer chunk of time, which in turn will help alleviate some stress. Give what you can.
Super behind on updates! Honey harvests, new friends, business ideas in motion...definitely staying busy! I was just watching Youtube and is shit just crazy this year? I feel like normalizing criminal women turned social media influencers is a thing that happened this year. The Gypsy Rose show, now that chick who pretended to be german and scammed people as seen on that netflix show is now on Dancing with the Stars...interesting. And then there's the girl who went viral for sharing her blowjob techniques and now has a reality show, which kinda sounds like a plotline straight from Idiocracy. Overdone reference I know, but come on... As usual politics is a complete shitshow. The fact that the race is even close...is a scathing indictment of the character of the American people. This world is cuckoo bananas and many days I feel like the alien on a strange planet.
It looks like I care about always making the styling very transparent, so it's possible in principle to guess what characters one needs to type to copy the look of something one sees on screen. So the style directives will never be hidden.
