2024-07-23 - Rex's journal

Added a guestbook back to the site today!

Cooked up the chanterelles last night, they turned out fabulous.

2024-07-22 - Freewheeling Apps

The problem: implementing text editor operations as lines might wrap or scroll.

e.g. clicking with the mouse to reposition the cursor, or pressing the down arrow (which might cause a scroll)

The key new solution: an API of primitives that make such operations fairly self-evident to build.

• to_loc: (x, y) -> loc
  Identify the location at pixel coordinates (x,y) on screen.
  Returns nil if (x,y) is not on screen.
• to_coord: loc -> x, y
  Identify the top-left coordinate on screen of location loc.
  Returns nil if loc is not on screen.
• down: loc, dy -> loc
  Find the location at the start of a screen line dy pixels down from loc.
  Returns nil if dy is taller than the screen.
  Returns bottom of file if we hit it.
• up: loc, dy -> loc Find the location at the start of a screen line dy pixels up from loc.
  Returns nil if dy is taller than the screen.
  Returns top of file if we hit it.
• hor: loc, x -> loc
  Find the location at x=x0 on the same screen line as loc.

I think they might be applicable to any pixel-based editors that use proportional fonts. They seem independent of the data structure used by the editor. I use an array of lines, and so locations are defined as (line_index, pos) tuples, where pos counts in utf-8 code-points.

There's probably a few bugs but hopefully it'll stabilize quickly. I'd appreciate people trying it out:

https://git.sr.ht/~akkartik/lines2.love

Lessons from this experience:

• There's a "hard part" to programming beyond the reach of tools or methods. Sometimes a problem needs the right "algebraic" abstraction, designed around an invariant and preserving it across any composition of operations.
• Not all programs get this hard.
• It's useful to notice when some part calls out for doing this hard, focused work.

I think I now better understand the "abyss".

2024-07-22 - jmibo's journal

woag it's been a while since i put literally anything here etc etc . sorry about that

progress on spinny game remastered is more or less nonexistent for the past few months (i made a settings menu, added parallax backgrounds, etc. but pretty much nothing in terms of content). i just haven't really been inspired i suppose. will probably get to it eventually

in less bad news, i recently published a collection of improved versions of a few of my games (left or right, grid puzzle, bars) to playdate! you can get it at its itch.io page, or on catalog once it's published there (will be a little over a week from today). i also piled together a little 2-player local multiplayer game the other day, and i had an idea for a game of a genre that my brain does not work well with which i may or may not work on.

2024-07-22 - Rex's journal

I recovered my work PC from the Crowdstrike issue way too quickly this morning. I was hoping I'd have to wait hours on hold with the help desk.

Yesterday, Bunny was kind enough to share a big bag of chanterelle mushrooms with me! I've had many pleasant interactions with people since moving here. I am greatly looking forward to cooking these tonight.

And Joe Biden dropped out of the race? Man, I sure miss precedented times. I look forward to maybe having a president one day who isn't one bad fall away from death.

2024-07-20 - Rex's journal

Went to Soda City Market with the fam today, followed by brunch at Eggs Up. Not terribly hot today but still muggy. I got some amazing Paella and Garlic Foccacia bread from the market.

Programming progress has stalled out for a bit. I find this happens often when the work stress and general life stress picks up.

2024-07-19 - Apropos of nothing

I spent more than half of July trying to survive two bad heatwaves. That's not an easy feat. Makes it hard to do anything creative, in particular. Oh, and good luck avoiding the worst of it when you 1) have urgent things to do outside but 2) can't rely on weather forecasts to be somewhat accurate. Hint: four degrees Celsius can make a lethal difference when the temperature hovers around forty as it is.

Cue having to wash all the clothes I had on yesteday, after wearing them once. Oh, and the trip took too long, only to prove completely useless.

In happier news: while searching for something unrelated on Marginalia, I stumbled upon All The Tropes, a wiki hosted on the newly rescued Miraheze. Serendipity for the win! The internet still has much to offer if you go off the beaten path, though ironically even out there it's still just a few of us, and we keep running into each other. But what can we do.

Anyway... Is it just me, or has the Neon Kiosk been slowly breaking down?

2024-07-19 - Rex's journal

The cyberattack is coming from inside the house! So, CrowdStrike broke the entire internet last night apparently, including but not limited to airlines, hospitals, utilities, and my own work computer! This is the issue you run into with single points of failure. CrowdStrike very likely just ended their whole ass company. Y2K wishes it was this bad!

2024-07-19 A Halo Around The Sun - Devine Lu Linvega's journal

The inlets we find ourselves anchored in are worlds of their own with inhabitants that, as transitory as some may be, are affairing themselves with happenings that extend to the shores of the lagoon, but no further. A strange new thing has come into the sheltered water and disrupted its hubbub, now everyone looks as if caught in a gasp, at its skyward pointing wing, at its opaque lifelessness. Through the oblong eyes of the vessel, like under a diving bell, we peer back in wonder.

There are as many days to our bow without connectivity than those that lay between our stern and Prince Rupert, where we were last able to make contact. In these secluded days, I am reminded of a passage from one of Thoreau's journals that reads the inscription on a Swedish inn:

• Progressed toward a Markl prototype.
• Improved Uxnfor to better handles OOP style.
• Designed a calligraphy system for Solresol.
• Wrote for Malleable Systems Collective's Fearless Extensibility.
• Reworked tbsp's tea timer.
• Took care of many small tasks for the wiki that I had been putting off, such as improving categorizing and removing redundant pages.

2024-07-18 - Rex's journal

Sold my 27" Toshiba AF model and got a little 14" in trade while still turning a slight profit. Am I a CRT dealer now? I got the lil one for $50 and I feel like I got a great bargain. It was very rare for these smaller sets to have component inputs. It does have some slight burn-in of the Mute text but you don't notice it when something is on the screen. Since it doesn't take up much space, I can hold on to this one for a while. It's so cute and the screen is still very vibrant despite 32k hours.

2024-07-17 - Rex's journal

This is the least rock'n'roll thing to ever happen. The satirical rock band with hits such as "Fuck Her Gently" and "The Government Totally Sucks" is held to a higher standard than a presidential candidate. This is fucking bullshit. This is the worst timeline. I loved Tenacious D. I loved Jack Black. This whole saga is just so infuriating.

I am having a bitch of a time trying to burn these PS1 games onto CDs. I don't know if it's a drive problem, a CD quality problem, or something else. I just want to play Lunar Silver Star Story! Even when I burned it to disc, the PS1 didn't read it. Honestly, original hardware may not be the move for PS1...emulators with screen filters that mimic a CRT might be better. Burning discs just isn't it.

Ok, it's actually just this one game. I got into a good groove with Alcohol 120. Most people recommended ImgBurn but I'm having more consistent success with Alcohol. All games worked perfectly except Lunar. PS1 had some bangers man, Persona 2, Castlevania, some other RPGs I'm looking forward to trying like Vandal Hearts, Vagrant Story, many more.

Persistence is key my friends! After fiddling with it, I discovered that multi-track games need to be combined into a single bin and cue. I was able to use CDMage to do that and am now playing Lunar!

2024-07-16 - Rex's journal

Nerd shit level: reaching out to local electronics recyclers about their stock of CRTs. I had a really pleasant interaction with a local owner. I called to ask about their CRT stocks and it ended with him telling me to email him, and him offering to keep me informed of any CRTs that come in.

The last Toshiba I picked up came with a remote, but it didn't work due to signs of past battery leakage. I did some research on how to fix it and came up with a couple options. Initially I tried what I had on hand - isopropyl alcohol and a q-tip. This was not sufficient. The internet told me my other options were white vinegar, and WD-40 contact cleaner for sensitive electronics. I opted for the WD-40 since I'm into that retro tech shit and it seemed it'd be good to have on hand. After several rounds of spraying the battery terminals, the remote still did not work, so I gave up for the night. I tried it again this morning and it worked perfectly! I was really excited. Also kinda mad, because I didn't know battery leakage was so easily fixable...I threw out some very valuable Rock Band 4 drums when I was younger and stupider because the batteries leaked and I thought they were cooked. I'm so sad thinking about that now haha. At least now I am equipped for the future!

With the remote all fixed up, I listed the Toshiba for sale. If I had unlimited space, I'd definitely be keeping this one. It's probably the nicest flat screen CRT I've had in my possession and I've really enjoyed using it the past few nights. There isn't much edge distortion like you often get in the flat screens. I listed it for a higher price, $150, since it's a really nice set and I'm not in a hurry to get rid of it. I'd been on the lookout for a Toshiba A series for almost a year. Normally I go cheaper, but I'm practicing side hustling right now lol. I'll drop it to 120 in a couple weeks if I don't get any bites.

Shout-out to this legend who drove 3 hours to lower a confederate flag and then got arrested for trespassing. We should give him a medal, not arrest him. Why the fuck is this loser flag flying anyway? Oh, it's the sons of the confederacy lol. Imagine being a part of such a loser club lol. How sad life must be for those clowns.

Soft-modded my PS1 today to play burned discs. That was fun. I never played much of the PSX library so I'm excited to dig in a bit. I played a bit of Ridge Racer 4 which has a dope soundtrack, but I'm looking to get into Persona 2 next.

2024-07-15 - Rex's journal

Didn't do much productive yesterday after getting back from the gym. I mostly played games lol. I put the Toshiba CRT on my cart and rolled it out to the living room to play some PS2. Played a bit of the Warriors games but then I got really into Drakengard. After I got used to the controls, this game is actually badass. It's like Dynasty Warriors mixed with Ace Combat on a dragon. I've always been curious about these games since playing Nier:Automata and it is not disappointing so far. Apparently this game has like 60+ weapons from what I read, which is crazy. I'm definitely gonna do a post on it when I beat it. The music is a bit repetitive so I'm hoping that improves.

I don't normally shit on small business owners, but I side-eye real hard at this new "cereal bar" in my town. Bruh, $8 for a bowl of cereal? If this fool can open a business hockin' $8 bowls of cereal and $10 milkshakes, you can accomplish your dreams too, even if they're stupid.

2024-07-14 - Rex's journal

Oof, got some anxiety today. My country is not in a good place right now, and I worry about what else this will lead to.

I hate how good the picture is. My negative opinion on trump is well known, but that picture of him with the blood on his face and the fist in the air surrounded by secret service is just so good. After the last ~2 weeks saw a thorough media assassination of Biden, my stomach dropped when I saw it. I don't trust the American people very much, and I worry that the mere appearances here will sway the results.

As always, I really hate politics.

2024-07-13 - Rex's journal

Finally got some pics added to the site! Now my pets and beehives can be admired by all lol. Really loving how my pets page turned out!

Holy shit did someone try to assassinate trump today? I was having such a normal day until that haha

2024-07-13 — June - Caffeine's Monthly Digest

It's already over

And I don't even know

Looking for a window

That I already closed

No matter how much I want it

How bad I've tried

Nothing's there on the other side

2024-07-12 Southward - Devine Lu Linvega's journal

We twice waved farewell to Sitka. A few hours after untying the lines, the engine that normally cycles water through itself to cool down decided that it would not do that anymore. The problem appeared to have gone away after some tinkering, only to return further down the coast, precipitating an emergency arrival in some questionably-sheltered flies-infested inlet hidden past but a few jagged rocks that the ocean breakers have as of yet unsuccessfully softened. We dropped the anchor, slept, slept some more, once our strength returned, we had to seriously take things apart and figure shit out.

For as long as Uxn has been around, I've meant to resume and complete a puzzle game that Rek and I wanted to build after Oquonie, called Markl. During these recent night passages I've spent my watches playing the game out in my head, and arrived to an exciting place with the design. I've started implemented it the moment we reached port.

• Wrote a track for a Diablo tribute cassette.
• Added binary data pasting to Left.
• Enjoyed the haikus from Santoka's teacher Seisensui Ogiwara.

2024-07-12 - Rex's journal

Tried a local restaurant today, called What a Burger. Not the chain, a local place. Since chain Whataburger is moving into my area currently, I want to make sure I try this place in case the corporation tries to sue or some shit. Idk if they would, but I just assume the worst of corpos. I had a simple patty melt that only came with 2 patties, grilled onions, and cheese and it was better than anything I've ever had at the chain Whataburger. Support your local places!

I've been messing with the Toshiba I picked up yesterday. Games don't look as good as they do on my Phillips. I expected as such considering the velocity modulation and the flat screen. However, old anime does look great on it. The extra sharpness doesn't seem to hurt movies and TV as much, but text and pixel art on games would not be a great experience. I'm probably gonna flip this set to someone else, though I was glad to get a chance to try the A series.

Also, shoutout to CRT Database. That's a great site I frequent when I scope out new sets. They include the weight of each set too which is important when assessing logistics.

2024-07-11 - Rex's journal

When you turn 30, you just start liking jazz. I can't explain it.

Oh snap, it's 7/11 day, I should go get a free slushie

I picked up another CRT today even though I don't have room for it. I've long been on the lookout for a Toshiba A series TV, and a cheap 27AF44 appeared on FB marketplace. It's flat and not curved, but I'm still excited to try it out.

2024-07-11 - Freewheeling Apps

The code in the screenshot is a function to convert a mouse click (mx, my) into the location (line_index, pos) of the character at that point on the screen.

The problem is much of this function is boilerplate shared with several other places, such as the code to draw text on screen, compute the height of a wrapped line, etc. The boilerplate makes it difficult to see the business logic unique to this particular function, and so creates pressure to prematurely create an abstraction to "DRY things out". Highlighting the shape of the boilerplate in pink helps the eye to focus to the unique business logic in the protrusions, and so counters the pressure to hide the boilerplate before I've figured out the best way to do so.

(As an aside, this is an example of what I think of as "programmer-configured highlighting". We've gotten used to our editors deciding what to highlight for us, and we just pick the colors. One little tool I use everyday is the ability to highlight specific identifiers which flips this around: I pick a word, and the editor picks a color at random to highlight it with. And the highlight persists across sessions. The color of the State variable in the screenshot was selected in this manner.)

2024-07-10 - Freewheeling Apps

Until now I've been developing the editor the "usual" way, which for me consists of needing some computation, figuring out the most convenient place to perform the computation, then squirreling away the result somewhere it's available when needed. In an effort to get myself out of the rut of the inevitable problems of indirection and cache invalidation that result, I've been trying to replace all my ad hoc data structures with on-demand computation based on the base state of the program. And what I've been ending up with is umpteen variations of this pictured algorithm, just with different code stuck on to the protrusions.

There may be an abstraction that comes out of all this, but I don't see it yet. And as CA says, a flower isn't made up of identical petals. Each one evolves uniquely as a part of the whole.

Here's the Lua code skeleton corresponding to that drawing. The ellipses correspond to protrusions in the drawing:

for line_index, line in array.each(State.lines, State.screen_top.line) do
  if line.mode == 'text' then
    local initpos = 1
    if line_index == State.screen_top.line then
      -- top screen line
      initpos = State.screen_top.pos
    end
    for pos, char in utf8chars(line.data, initpos) do
      if char:match('%s') then
        if line_wrap_at_word_boundary(State) then
          ...
        else
          ...
        end
      else
        if x+w > State.right then
          ...
        else
          ...
        end
      end
    end
  else  -- drawing
    ...
  end
end

2024-07-10 - Rex's journal

The Cicada-geddon is in full swing in my area! We got a late start to the season but I've been hearing them literally all day now. They go nonstop for like 14 hours. I love it!

2024-07-10 Waves - a

Pino and crew have sailed back to Canada 2 days ago, landing back in Prince Rupert. We'll slowly make our way back south now.

We've traveled many miles, we completed a loop through Southeast Alaska, passing close to the mainland through Wrangell, Petersburg, and then through Frederick Sound to Sitka, then down down down on the outside waters of Baranof and Dall Island, through Dixon Entrance and into port at Prince Rupert. Sailing in outer waters was lovely, especially on the first day, the sea was smooth, as was the wind, I saw a ton of wildlife. I saw black-footed albatrosses, the last time I saw them was on our Japan to Canada sail in 2020, they are large brown birds with dramatic markings around their eyes, locking their expression into one of constant mourning. As Pino sailed by the Hazy Islands, I saw my first puffin! The Hazy Islands are far offshore, away from traffic and human encroachment, boats can't land there, neither can planes, it's a perfect place for birds, they have a world of their own out there.

The second offshore leg was not as lovely, with big waves at our stern, strong winds, too. "Don't take me again," I said to the sea, "please don't." I kept one hand on the tiller, the other gripped the frame of our roll cage, ready in case the waves decided to misbehave. Further into Dixon Entrance the waves diminished along with any threat of being taken, I was relieved.

I write in my logbook everyday, I don't have creative energy for anything else right now. I draw once in a while, not as often as I'd like. Hopefully, once we get nearer to Vancouver Island, we can find a place to stay put for a few weeks. Yes, weeks, a place with good hiking nearby, a quiet place for deep thinking.

This trip has challenged my strength. I am a human windlass, a haphazard diesel engine mechanic, a nervous wreck at times... but like our strong little ship, I too can weather storms.

2024-07-09 - Rex's journal

The funeral was yesterday. I haven't been able to focus very well. After someone dies, you take stock of things. And boy, working 40 hours a week for an evil megacorp sure is a sad thing to do for the rest of my life. I need to turn this disdain into motiviation to keep learning so that I can break out.

2024-07-08 - Melyanna's Journal

Off to Germany!

This year has been quite busy with work and travel, and I barely had time to pick this little corner of the internet up again.

I have felt tired a lot, mostly because of how tough 2023 was, and how little time I had to take a break as last year rolled directly into this one.

I will be spending the next three weeks touring Germany, and then hopefully return refreshed and rested, ready to get right into a good routine that doesn't mame me feel tired all the time, and that lets me have space for work, family, friends, my partner, and my personal projects.

2024-07-07 - Rex's journal

I am in dire need of some cable management. I just re-arranged my entire workspace to accomodate my newly acquired ultrawide monitor and it's been a multi-day project. After dialing in the settings, gaming is incredible on this thing. My Legion 5 Pro laptop with a 3070TI can struggle to keep up sometimes. This is how tech almost turns into an arms race. For my next PC, I'll need something with even greater specs. 4K gaming, to prep for an even better ultrawide OLED in the future.

As for games, I've played a few so far. Many games do support ultrawide resolutions, now. First I booted up Dark and Darker which looked pretty good, even though I'm shit at it. The Witcher 3 is absolutely stunning, though no surprise there. I played it to death on console but finally picked it up on PC since it was dirt cheap on the Steam sale. I downloaded a bunch of mods to improve the experience and it's like a brand new game! My main issue with the game was the floaty, not impactful feeling melee combat. I downloaded a few combat mods that add slo-mo, dismemberment, and blood trails, and now each fight is a blast. I've played through the story probably 3x at this point but the game is timeless. There's no better fantasy game out there than Witcher 3. I also picked up Forza Horizon 4 since racing games seem like they'll be fun on an ultrawide.

Might get rid of chattable. Half the time the script doesn't load my CSS properly.

2024-07-06 18:22:55 - Milo's Journal

Milo's Journal

It's been a minute and thought it would be worth just writing an update on here.

Life has been good overall, and I can't complain too much. The world is a lot to take in, but I'm trying to interface with it in a way that is both compassionate to myself and to those in need. It's a particularly difficult combination for me, but it's feeling better than ever.

Readers may have noticed I fell off doing my weekly and monthly goal updates. I'm still setting goals for me, but trying out not doing the reflections as they were becoming a problem of "perfect being the enemy of the good". I'm not maintaining my goals as well right now, so I think there's something to the reflection and sharing element that is helpful to me. So I'll probably get back into that later this month or next.

Still working on this house and trying to move into the room. Lots of inertia and distractions on my side, but largely just overwhelm. So many things happening all of the time and it's hard to focus on just the few important things in front of me. That goes for both within the house as a project, but also in my life as a whole. I have many things I want to do but I really need and want to work on the house. It's just not as fun as hanging out with my friends or doing aikido so lots of resistance, haha.

I am playing some gigs again, for the first time in a really long time. Interested in seeing how my emotions play into this after so long being away. I'm really trying to focus on shoshin for this, not worrying so much about being "good" or whatever. Just having a good time and playing with my buds.

Shoshin

As always, so grateful for my partner, my family, my friends, and the magnanimity they show me every day. Thinking about delving into internal family systems therapy and how it interfaces with my own shit right now. Seems to be helping out my buds, and that's good enough for me.

Internal Family Systems

Not much else to report as of now. Be kind to yourselves.

2023-11-23 09:22:33

Been kinda stuck in a rut, but feel like I'm starting to come out of it. Had a few months of good personal growth and my brain is in in ADHD "I want to do what I want" phase, so having agency in what I do has been hard for a minute.

But I can't complain, I've been pretty happy and fairly grateful for what I've got. I'm working on this house, and we're _finally_ past the demo phase and into reno. Seeing friends and family a lot. Really enjoying the winter season as it comes approaching. Something really special about fall and winter in the pacific northwest that I really love. Cold and sunny, wet and cloudy, it's all good.

I am of course starting lots of new hobbies, learning new programming languages, nothing new there.

I've been volunteering for a few different organizations and that has filled me with some more sense of purpose that I appreciate. Some coding, some physical labor, some gardening, it runs the gamut and I love that.

We got a whole boatload of tomatillos and made some salsa which ruled. We also got a lot of green tomatoes, which we turned into green tomato chutney. Tasted _incredible_ and I've been putting it on toast, bean and rice bowls, chips, whatever. It's just great.

Green Tomato Chutney recipe

2023-08-10 19:52:58

Life has been a rollercoaster, trying to understand how I feel about any given thing has been difficult. This has kind of been a season of learning how my emotions even work, after years of sidestepping them for comfort. It's been hard, but this work is so important for keeping me and the people I care about feeling okay.

Read the book "Triggers" again after years, and also since I started therapy. Makes a lot more sense when you have been working on yourself for a minute with any kind of intention. The daily questions are such a simple concept, but it has really helped with my mindfulness on my mental state and staying present to my emotions.

Triggers

I have been working on the old double-wide mobile home I purchased recently. It is a lot of work, but it has been fun. We're living in a trailer next door and I have enjoyed the challenges it presents. Been making a lot more fun food, like applesauce from a neighbor's apple tree, rhubarb jam from the farmer's market, pickles with wild fennel, and vegetable stir fry with Swiss chard from our garden. Grateful for what I have!

Applesauce Recipe similar to the one I made

Since work is all programming and computers all day, I have done so little personal programming recently, but I have recently had an opportunity to help someone automate out some of their job. Some basic Javascript and Wordpress knowledge can go a long way into getting rid of lots and lots of repetitive copy-paste-copy-paste.

milofultz/gd-html-cleaner: Clean HTML from Google Docs copy so it sits well on certain platforms

Rock climbing has been a great way to stay active and hang out with my friends. It's a half-hour bike ride away, so I can get a full body exercise when I get there. How lucky I am.

Thinking a lot about how I can build a stronger community around me. I've spent so long distancing myself from others in a meaningful way that I'm excited to reach out slowly and meaningfully to others, getting outside of my comfort zone, and learning to be more vulnerable. Looking forward to a long fall and winter of contemplation and hot drinks.

2023-04-29 13:47:05

Life is happening all at once, and it has been very fun and very exhausting, but in that way of feeling fully utilized.

• I ended up getting the place right next door to my buddy, and there is a very unkept manufactured house on the property. We're paring it down to the bones and improving it from the inside out. Learning a ton about mold, plumbing, flooring, drywall, and essentially anything else to do with home improvement, which is really cool!
• The above also led me and my partner to buying a trailer to live in temporarily while this house gets worked on, which is a big change but a welcome one. There is the seductive call of "minimalism", and now I get to see the rubber hit the road as most of our stuff will be in storage, aside from necessities and home improvement stuff. Excited to see how this feels and if anything comes out in sharp relief about how I want to live.
• I made kvass[1] out of some old sourdough bread I had and it came out delicious! I kind of sucked at the recipe, but it's like a non-caffeinated bread kombucha, which is wild.
• The projects at work have been pretty difficult and rewarding. Much more difficult than the basic and simple bugfixes that I have been doing and generally enjoy, but the struggle has made it more fun, as I get to learn a lot more and make a bigger impact.

2023-03-08 22:05:46

I should just get "process over product" tattooed on me so I can stop forgetting.

2023-02-18 12:16:48

Been getting into a lot of different hobbies recently, like knots, begleri, komboloi, pen spinning, and fermenting kombucha, oats, and red wine vinegar. It's been fun to get back into some silly and "pointless" hobbies again, they feel very satisfying and replenishing. It's taken me a while to really divorce the "productivity brain" out of my life and just do stuff because it's fun, the love of learning, and that's it.

There may be an opportunity to live right next door to one of my closest friends, too, and I can't believe how lucky that would make me. Been very grateful for my life the last few months.

2023-01-09 08:40:04

It's wild how exercise really gets me into a much better emotional state. Like it really makes me feel like I have more discipline and willpower, as well as just more resilience when unexpected things happen. I feel like I go through this cycle every few years, but it's good to get the reminder.

2022-12-28 22:03:27

Have had a great couple weeks. Been dogsitting a cute little dude, playing some pickleball, meeting up with some old friends, riding my longboard, and beginning a new (well, sorta old to me) exercise routine[1]. This routine has been something I've been meaning to start since maybe 12 years ago, and now I finally have the equipment I need to make it happen, and more importantly the motivation. It really feels great to actually USE my body instead of just exist in it. It kind of is a constant reminder that I'm alive in this meat sack, and helps me, at least a little, curb my inertia with various time suck activites.

The December Adventure[2] is essentially up for me, as well, and I have done a lot of fun stuff. It's nice to really log what you worked on and have empirical data to show you that you are actually using your time in a way that you are proud of, instead of just wallowing in your sad thoughts.

[1] r/bodyweightfitness's Recommended Routine

[2] December Adventure

2022-12-14 22:21:28

Been starting a new job over the last couple of weeks and excited to be around so many new people and experiences. Glad to have some stability, but mourning the loss of my endless free time. But that being said, the endless free time was not necessarily the greatest thing. I love having stuff to do. Maybe I just need to find more doers out there who want to make shit or do stuff.

Also been enjoying going through some of what Eli[1] has deemed December Adventure[2], where you do *something* code related every day. That being said, I am not really hitting that mark because of this job and returning to 8 hour work days. But I'm learning a bit of forth to try and grok it and I really like it so far. It's a big brain stretcher!

[1] eli.li

[2] December Adventure

2022-11-29 14:37:23

Barf, just installed to a new(ish) OS. But man does it feel nice to have a speedy computer again! 7 years old, still going strong. Moving everything from one computer to another wasn't as terrible as I thought it was going to be, and now I get to check that off my list.

In totally unrelated news, I have a ton of food to pickle, a lot of bread to make, and a bunch of projects to finish before I start work at my new gig next week. I'm excited, but wondering how it will feel to go back to having a 9 to 5 again. Wish me luck.

2022-11-21 11:50:53

Had a wonderful time in Seattle at the Handmade Seattle conference! Met a lot of really interesting and sweet people, got a lot of inspiration, and ate a lot of good food. Excited to see what all my new friends are up to as the year comes to a close.

Over the last couple of days, I implemented a text-based adventure engine[1] for the browser that makes it really easy to make, share, and play. I just started dinking around on a story and am having a blast.

[1] JSAdventure

2022-11-08 11:44:08

Currently watching this Theremin Trees video[1] and realizing I have tendencies to enter the "drama" sphere of bully/victim/rescuer. It is hard for me to notice when it occurs, but I am glad I have strong semantic handles for this kind of feeling now. It is a special feeling of comfort, of "knowing" or being "in control" that feels very tangible to me, and it always feels like a Faustian bargain but not enough to get me to quit the behavior.

[1] when saviours go bad | drama disguised as help

2022-11-02 08:47:27

Realizing more than ever I cut myself down before I even begin, in many parts of my life. Growing up with influence from evangelist teachings I think really did a number on my brain, mainly that of feeling like I don't have agency or sovereignty within myself. Grateful I have the awareness to notice it, but fearful of the work that it will take to change.

2022-10-27 09:07:09

Been playing gomoku[1] with my partner and having a fun time with it. A super fast and fun game, with a lot more depth than I initially realized.

[1] Gomoku

2022-10-19 08:46:50

I've been learning pickleball and the learning process is so funny. As soon as I put intention into wanting to do really well, I suck and get frustrated. As soon as I give up and say "I am going to play safe and only try to get the ball over the net", I do really well, learn fast, and am happy.

Very evident this was the same problem when I was doing music freelancing full-time. Trying so hard to "do well" and have people "think I'm good" that I absolutely lost the plot.

2022-10-13 10:22:04

It's interesting that when I start getting stuck on a project, my first instinct is to PUSH and not to chill out and move to something else. I think the desire to work on something I think is interesting is normal and nice, but the unwillingness to take a break feels problematic.

This is particularly evident in the areas of my life where ego gets involved: money making ventures, areas where I have social stakes, things where my identity is tied to it somehow.

In totally unrelated news, I have been biking so much, my butt is sore. While I wish I didn't have a sore butt, I am stoked that I can and do ride that much instead of driving.

2022-10-11 09:46:45

Been enjoying being back in town with my old friends and family so much. I'm so glad I ended up making the move, despite having to leave some of my friends and old dreams and desires behind. I've been making lots of bread[1], pickles, kombucha, kimchi pancakes[2], and whatever else.

I've also been getting back into music after years of letting my ego chill the fuck out about it, and really really enjoying playing music for the sheer fun of it. I have this goofy little pump organ that I've been practicing Bach on and it's so satisfying and makes me feel so happy. I'm playing some gigs with friends and remembering the joy of getting together with people and making things.

While I have many things to be sad or scared of right now, I am also immensely grateful for my privilege and situation in that I really get to enjoy my time and space right now.

[1] No-knead Bread

[2] Kimchi Pancake

2022-09-08 08:33:32

I'm finally all moved in to my new place. Been seeing lots of old friends, playing with a goofy new pump organ I bought, played a show on bass with some friends, and am otherwise just enjoying my current unemployment.

I found a place down my street that lets me watch the sunrise while I drink tea, and the neighbor has a cat that just wants to be held and pet, so tbh I'm pretty dang satisfied about where I'm at at the moment.

2022-08-29 12:01:13

Have been getting a lot of exercise in, talking and meeting up with a lot of friends, and generally trying to make the most of my current unemployment. It's been awesome to remember the feeling of summer vacations, mindlessly just doing things for their own sake, pursuing the love of life just for life's sake. My goal going forward is to really try and encapsulate this feeling whenever I can, regardless of my job or life situation. It's a tall, tall order, but I know my life would be better with that.

2022-08-09 23:57:18

Been working on this bytebeat[1] project, which is kind of a Twitter but for noisy math sounds. It's been a fun project, if only because I got to build an infix-to-postfix converter and use it to create audio blobs on the client side, which is very satisfying. It's at the moment extremely clunky, but especially just as a proof of concept, it feels great. Next step is seeing if web workers can help me move this work off of the main thread and not destroy the user experience.

https://codeberg.org/milofultz/bytebeat

2022-08-04 21:37:12

After having been traveling for work for the last three months without a space to really call my own nor the tools to do much, I have been wildly productive. Just in the last couple of days, I've done more than I feel like I have in the last couple months, in terms of joyful and fulfilling activity:

• Started some mead [1]
• Made a bivy sack out of Tyvek [2]
• Ordered some cubes to make some hako dice [3]
• Walked around 20 miles
• Worked on a new website project, which is also starting work on a parser
• Made douglas fir needle tea [4]

Super grateful for the last few months to help put in perspective the things I really care about: friends, family, creative projects, and solving puzzles.

[1] Simple mead recipe

[2] $5 bivy sack

[3] Hako

[4] Douglas Fir Tea

2022-07-25 08:03:45

Finally getting back to work and it's great to feel like I have something to do that isn't just laying in bed and watching videos.

2022-07-24 16:15:02

I've been stuck inside for about a week now after getting sick and I think I'm ready to get back to actually doing things. It's amazing the inertia I have when I don't see anybody or can't go do anything. I don't like to think that most of my motivation may be extrinsic, but that might be the case.

2022-07-17 19:52:09

Been having a pretty sedentary time this last week. Been away from home for a few months, my partner is sick, COVID is going wild here, the world in general is what it is at the moment. It's been hard to not just distract myself all day every day as leaving the house is to be avoided as much as possible and I don't have any friends around to spend time with them.

Today, was able to hang out with a buddy online and practice solving some code puzzles for an upcoming interview of theirs. A surprisingly comforting thing, all things considered. And yesterday, spent a good amount of time making music, which is something I haven't done in a while. It's a weird dance trying to balance joy and distraction for me, but I know when it's joyful and fun and I love when I'm present for it.

2022-07-17 15:08:11

Started this thing! We'll see how long I stick with it, but it seems like a nice middle ground between logging what I'm up to, blog posts, and shitposting on Mastodon.

2024-07-04 - Rex's journal

Wife's grandpa passed today. It's been expected for like a year now so not a surprise, but still a bummer. But, also a new chapter for her grandma, who had become full time caretaker. If you have to see firsthand what's it like to take care of someone with alzheimer's and or dementia, you'll understand. It sucks though, so hopefully you won't have to experience it. Maybe it's just me but it seems like a lot of older folks pass on holidays.

I took my wife to the rock shop to do a sluicing bucket. We got some nice crystals. It helps her feel better. Then we had a saddish cookout at the family's before returning home to watch some tv. Lotta fireworks going on. I'm not a fan but at least my pets don't mind them.

2024-07-03 - Rex's journal

I was lookin' around facebook marketplace and found someone selling a Samsung Odyssey G9 ultra wide monitor for $500. I thought it was too good to be true since those retail for over a grand, but long story short, I am now part of the ultrawide monitor gang. This thing is incredible but also terribly bulky to carry. I needed the extra screen space for...nah I just wanted it.

3 browser windows open on a giant screen, this is peak brainrot

Cleaning up the ol' button wall today. Kinda surprised at how many people deleted their sites. Or maybe they just changed URLs and didn't re-direct. Just like Geocities I guess.

2024-07-03 - Freewheeling Apps

…might represent a function for initializing a text editor widget with the following signature:

edit.initialize(top, left, right, bottom, font_size)

And the numbers indicate a specific call to this function:

edit.initialize(15, 15, 115, 215, 20)

Interestingly, these alternative semantics would make for a more pleasing glyph.

edit.initialize(margin-top, margin-left, margin-right, margin-bottom, font-size)

2024-07-03 - Spam literature, finale - Cutting Tofu

2024-07-02 - Rex's journal

Busy day at work, but got a lot done! I'm starting to forget deadlines because I'm juggling too much. Luckily, my normal work pace is leisurely and relaxed so I just usually need 1 or 2 good grind sessions to knock everything out. The nice thing about working in the software world is that you typically know exactly what's expected of you because it's all tracked on Jira. But, as a business analyst, I do whatever it takes to make a project successful. The software is just one small part, at least in a large corporation. There's many other teams I have to work with, often who have deadlines of their own which depend on my input. There are stakeholders that have to be appeased. Rigid bureaucratic processes that have to be followed at every turn. Even minor scope changes requiring significant effort and scrutiny. And thanks to the bastardization of agile, a million people asking me for status every day on the work I was going to do whether they asked me to or not...anyway, after a promotion last year, my world has grown quite a bit. I feel I've settled into it quite nicely. After today, I feel accomplished. I do have frustrating moments certainly, but overall I like what I do. There's an inherent level of chaos and ridiculousness in any large corporate environment, sure. But, once you get used to it and learn how to navigate it all, it is what it is. Just part of the job. I thrive in a certain level of chaos and uncertainty at work, because I enjoy the feeling of bringing order to chaos, especially when there's software involved. Even if it is boring ol enterprise software. It's why I like gaming. The feeling of overcoming challenges. Problem solving. Optimizing. I try to look at my job as just another game to master and optimize.

I've been thinking about work a lot lately. Not in a bad or anxious type way, just in a "where do I go from here" type way. Where do I want my career to go? I've made it out of senior level and am now a staff business analyst. I did it with 2 less years experience than what HR recommended. What do I do next to progress again? I'm playing a new game, but I haven't mastered it yet. So, last night I stumbled upon StaffEng and got to reading. I know I'm not a software engineer per se, but I'm a highly technical BA who debugs and pseudocodes along with the developers, and I do program in my own time, so close enough. Clicking through a few links I found an article about glue work. I didn't know this had a name, but it really resonated with me. Since I became a business analyst, this was the work I always strived to do. I helped support prod even though it was frowned upon because it was an expense for us rather than a money making activity. When all the long timers left the team, I documented their knowledge to share with the team. I created a team onenote filled with information, training, guides, common errors, and shared it with everyone. I volunteered to lead my greener team members through some complex test activities after a routine major system upgrade. I wanted to help people. I wanted to make everyone's life easier than it was. I love the feeling of being able to help someone with a problem they're having. So I was just always naturally drawn to glue work. I will keep doing my best, and doing what's right, and doing what I can to help my fellow coworkers (within reason of course - I'm not doin their work lol) to make their lives a little bit easier. We're all in this corporate hellscape together, let's at least be excellent to each other.

All that to say, I don't know where I'm going, yet. I'm just gonna stay true to myself like I have been, because it's worked out well so far. Will I stay a business analyst, or transition into programming? Will I leave my current company, or start my own business with my wife? Or maybe become a consultant? Who knows! Luckily, I don't have to rush to get there. I can take my time. I am confident that an opportunity will present itself when the time is right.

Also, I joined Mastodon. I don't fully understand it yet. Maybe one of the servers that has to manually approve your account is better. The random open tech server I joined just seemed like Twitter and Reddit but worse. Maybe I need to click around more. Or maybe I'm just a normie and all the cool people have already left Mastodon...hmm.

2024-07-01 - Rex's journal

First day of July already, wow! Time flies. Happy for a short work week this week.

Feeling really good about the website right now! Tons of content, though maybe a little too busy now? Regardless, I am loving it! I added a secret post that you won't find in the traditional places, but it's not too hard to find. Thought it'd be fun to add some secret elements. Now, I think I need a 4th section on my right sidebar to make it an even 4 and 4. I can't get this retro game of the day idea out of my mind, so I think that's what it'll be.

It appears our supreme court overlords have determined that presidents are kings! American experiment, it was nice knowing ya! And bribery is very legal and cool, now. And regulation of evil corporate conglomerates is a thing of the past. They are really setting the stage for Project 2025 nicely. Dark times for our country, our rights, our freedoms, our health and safety...and the world.

2024-06-30 - Rex's journal

PS2 archival complete! Next up, Gamecube. Once I finish, I'll be getting back to programming. I plan on creating a SQL database of all my games, and I kinda wanna play around with the Internet Game Database API, but I'll save the specifics for the devlog.

In other news, it's fuckin hot outside. This summer is definitely worse than last summer. Still, no worse really than Texas, and with less concern about the grid failing on a 100 degree day. The cicadageddon is ongoing, they are suuuper noisy in the mornings and around dusk this past week. I generally don't care for summer, but the cicadas man...they're just a vibe.

Been making a few site updates here and there. I'm full of project ideas lately, I just need to slow down and actually build them out before I start brainstorming the next one. I get too excited and lose focus!

I like the Youtube spotlights in the sidebars, but they're kinda small. I increased the size of the aside element to help a little bit. Any bigger made the sidebars feel too big. But now my lists on the left sidebar need to be re-adjusted to handle the new size.

Busy day! I basically worked on the site all afternoon and evening today. I'm pretty pleased with how it's looking right now! Got my CSS organized, replaced the deprecated marquee tag with some CSS animations, lots of sidebar content changes, overhauled main page, re-worded intro, added a chatbox and some autoplaying youtube music, wrote a new post about summertime, fixed minor issues on some of the older posts, added a button to display and hide some gifs...dang! Really productive and fun day today.

2024-06-30 - Freewheeling Apps

(Just a mockup to convey the idea. Plan is just to use this notation with pen and paper.)

Is this picture intelligible without any explanation?

2024-06-29 - Rex's journal

The supreme court is now relegated to lower case spelling. I view the court as illegitimate (since Trump's presidency really), and therefore they have lost their proper noun status. Buncha crooks.

Finally made it back to the gym today after a 2 week break. It was good to be back. For now, the video game archival project continues. The PS1 I ordered arrived today. I'll probably be soft modding it next weekend.

2024-06-28 - Rex's journal

Babe wake up, new Gnome just dropped

Had a hard drive scare today. Crazy dog ripped the cord out, but it was kinda my fault as I had it out in the living room in a precarious position. It's very hot here right now and my living room is the coldest room in the house, so I was out there working on filling my 14tb drives with all my roms while watching the 12 hour long Virtual Gaming Library's All PS2 games video, which is taking several days. But, data archival is fun. I've seen too much stuff disappear from the internet. Archive.org truly is a treasure. I would do the same thing if I was rich.